Excited to start LIVNG again!

So early this week in counseling, I learned a lot of things. How much this eating disorder has taken over my life. I never realized how much it was stealing from me.

My therapist drew a circle and asked me to divide it up into sections that define who I am. The first thing I thought of was food and running which fits into the category of "healthy" lifestyle. After that I was kind of stumped. It was the only thing I could think of. That is who I am.

Then I though of school and relationships (friends/family). I was embarrassed to draw a line down the middle and dedicate half of myself to the "healthy" lifestyle. If I was being completely honest I would have made it more like 70% of the circle. I'm using quotes around healthy because that is my idea of what is healthy. But in reality, I know my obsession with being healthy is not healthy. It takes up so much of who I am.

She handed me a new circle and told me to draw the ideal me or who I want to be. This time I divided it into three equal sections. I thought I was done. Then she asked me: what about hobbies? I thought for a second that I really don't have any hobbies. Then I remembered. I used to LOVE photography. And I also loved to bake. And play guitar. But I lost interest for that. When? In the middle of senior year. When  my eating disorder started. A lightbulb went off! It all makes sense now! Once my ED started, my passions were pushed out of my life because I was so consumed with the thought of eating.

I am now going to break out my fancy camera and start taking pictures again. I am SO excited to do this because I remember how much fun it used to be. Starting January 1st I'm going to take one picture everyday as a 365 photo challenge. I think it will help me a lot. I'm ready to get my life back!